I am a terrific accountant. I could help any person or business with just about anything having to do with tracking, investing, and protecting their assets. If you or your business is making good money, I can quickly and accurately tell you how well you are doing, project how you will do in the future, make sure you don’t lose what you have earned, and assist you with growing your wealth. And if you or your business isn’t doing so well, I can find where the problems are and provide many ideas for reducing costs, growing assets, and running your business more efficiently.
The lack of financial acumen in our culture is deplorable. Many people and businesses, both those that are doing well and those that are doing poorly, consistently handle their financial affairs in a haphazard manner that results in losing millions if not billions of dollars in asset values. Even the supposed ‘experts’ running the federal government’s financial affairs have run up a $16 trillion ‘credit card balance’ with little idea of how it will ever be repaid.
The sheer amount of misery caused by this lack of financial ability is staggering and just as devastating to people’s lives as any natural disaster. Something needs to be done, and I have just the answer – ‘Shurts Accounting for Everyone.’
Since people are suffering from a lack of financial knowledge and ability and I have great expertise in that area, it is imperative that the government step in and make sure that each person who suffers from making bad financial decisions is given free access to my financial skills. Now I am sure some of you are sitting there thinking, “Well, Shurts is a good accountant, but I don’t think even he could take care of 315 million Americans’ financial needs,” and you would be right, but I have an answer for you.
I know a lot of terrific accountants. Some of them are even reading these words right now, and I’m sure they could all use some more work. So instead of ‘Shurts Accounting for Everyone’ I am recommending we pass the ‘Affordable Accounting Services Act’ in order to end the needless suffering of all those people who can’t get their financial act together.
If 47 million Americans suffer because they don’t have health insurance, then I would bet that at least 2 or three times that number suffer because of financial idiocy. The ‘Affordable Accounting Services Act’ would put an end to this problem forever. Those 94 to 141 million Americans who consistently spend more than they make, take out 110% mortgages on depreciating homes and run up tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt would finally be given the help and support they deserve.
I’m sure somebody out there might be grousing about this idea, considering it totally unworkable, but can’t you see how much of a Win-Win this is. Terrific accountants would all get lots of work and make lots of money, while average Americans would have all of their financial problems solved and the cost for all of it would be borne by the federal government. Where’s the downside?
(I’ll tell you where in Part 2 of ‘Shurts Accounting for Everyone’)